Paul Harvey tells the following story: It was a terrible winter in Chicago. Many of the rooftops were overloaded with snow. Robert McGrath watched his wife enter the backyard garage to fetch some boxes. Seconds later, he heard a crash. Looking out, he saw that the garage roof had caved in.
Without even stopping for his hat or coat, Mr. McGrath ran from the house, grabbed a snow shovel and called out to his neighbors to come and help. Yelling and digging with his sweat freezing on his face, frantically throwing snow and pulling away boards, he dug at the rubble until he was nearly exhausted. Then, finally, he heard his wife’s voice. Minutes later, he saw her hand. He kept working until his wife was safely in his arms and asked if she was all right. She was.
Now for the rest of the story:
A neighbor witnessed the whole event and told everyone later what happened. Mrs. McGrath had entered the garage through one door and left through another! She was safely back in the house when she looked out and saw what had happened. There, by the collapsed garage, was her husband—furiously digging, shouting orders and throwing lumber as he desperately tried to rescue her. He was the picture of love poured out! She decided she could not let that loving man down at that moment. So, she put on her coat, went into the garage by the back door, and crawled under some boards. Then, she let her husband, Bob, find her.
Paul Harvey finishes the story by saying that sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to let someone else be your hero! Bob is truly a blessed man.
Many women I know compete with their husbands. They want to prove to everyone that they can do better. It is not unusual for me to come across women who would ridicule their husbands in public. The same thing happens to wives, too. I have seen insensitive husbands who would make fun of their wives in front of people, thinking that they appear more significant in doing so and failing to understand that they look ridiculous as well.
Husband and wife are one flesh. That’s what the Bible says, which is why my wife’s success is my success, and her sorrow is mine to bear.
Respect is fundamental in marriage. Sometimes, familiarity becomes an excuse for disrespect. This should not be.
When spouses make fun of their partner’s weaknesses and shortcomings, they essentially say, “You’re no good for me, and I deserve better.” They fail to understand that putting the spouse down is putting oneself down and after the jokes subside and the laughter dissipates, there is nothing much left of the two.
I have been through good times and bad. I have made some pretty stupid mistakes along the way. The Ilocana never insults me and she always offers to console me. She messes up often, and sometimes, it gets on my nerves. But I love her too much to mock her, and in her, I see myself as a person who can make mistakes, too.
That’s what marriage is all about. It’s not about finances, it’s not about compatibility, it’s all about respect and care. It’s all about having both parties get close to God; in the process, they become close. And after today’s story, it’s all about allowing each other to be heroes.
Why am I talking about marriage today instead of the usual business and leadership topics you’re used to in this column? Today marks our 44th wedding anniversary – quite the milestone after nine years of engagement before we even got married! That’s more than 53 years of togetherness. We almost lost the Ilocana a couple of months ago when she had a stroke. She is recovering fast and still, in her condition, remaining joyful, encouraging, and loving.
Successful marriages are not fairy tales; they’re a daily choice to love, respect and support each other. They’re crafted in the quiet moments of everyday life. In our marriage story, the Ilocana has always been the hero.
Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.ae
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