I’ve always been intrigued by gifts – both the giving and the getting. As a kid, though, my fascination wasn’t from experience. With my father being the only breadwinner in the house juggling bills, groceries, and three more mouths to feed, gifts weren’t exactly an everyday occurrence. Let’s say our Christmas “wish lists” often turned into “wishful thinking.”
So, when Christmas finally rolled around and a few gifts from his clients were delivered to our tiny little house, I was mesmerized. My inner detective sprang to life. I’d stare at those wrapped boxes, practically willing them to open themselves. Is this one for me? What’s inside? I hope it’s not an oversized “commercial” T-shirt that I could not wear, or could it be a toy I can play with? To tell me to wait until Christmas to open the gifts was unacceptable. I could not wait. I had to open it right away.
Then, one evening last year, when the Ilocana and I were invited to dinner at my designer daughter Hannah and husband Jayson’s home, they had placed many gifts under the Christmas trees. I was amazed at how my grandkids had the discipline to wait until they celebrated their “Christmas gift unwrapping ceremony” on Christmas Eve. This means the kids would have to wait for months and weeks before discovering the gifts they would receive.
Two weeks for a kid is like an eternity for an impatient person like me when I was their age. But they were told to wait, to hold on to their excitement. I immediately recognized that a lesson on discipline was being taught – delaying gratification and controlling their emotions, leaving a painfully long wait until Dec. 25th. No amount of begging from my grandkids could change their parents’ minds on the established protocol.
But when the day finally came, the joy was indescribable. Reflecting now, I wonder if the months and weeks of waiting made the moment so unforgettable. Unfortunately, many kids today may miss out on the joy waiting can bring.
Writer Andrew McPeak pointed to a Today.com survey that revealed 60 percent of parents admit their kids are “maybe a little spoiled,” while 32 percent said their kids are “spoiled rotten.” What should be a “season of giving” seems to have morphed into a season of “giving too much” and “giving in.”
And if you happen to be parents who would succumb to the antics and drama of the kids wanting something and wanting it now (grandparents are included here), then we may have deprived the kids of learning a valuable lesson on waiting. What if we let the kids wait a little longer this holiday season?
Waiting might feel out of place in today’s instant gratification culture, but it aligns perfectly with the true meaning of the Christmas season. The word advent itself means “coming” or “preparation.” By embracing the waiting season, parents and children can experience meaningful benefits. There are immense benefits one can enjoy from waiting.
Waiting creates space for growth. McPeak says both common sense and science agree that transitional, or “liminal,” spaces are where the most significant development occurs. Immediate gratification robs us of opportunities to reflect, stretch ourselves, and mature.
For children, waiting encourages introspection. It prompts questions like, “Why do I want this?” or “Why am I so impatient?” These moments of reflection build resilience and self-awareness. As author Jeff Henderson wisely said, “Discomfort is the price for growth.” Waiting fosters the internal development that shapes their character.
Contrary to what consumerism teaches, the thrill of achieving a desire often pales compared to the joy of anticipating it. Research has shown that the brain releases dopamine – the “feel-good” chemical – more during the anticipation of a reward than during its actual receipt.
This explains why children’s peak excitement on Christmas morning happens while they’re opening gifts, not while they’re playing with them. True happiness doesn’t come from the present but from the surrounding experience. This is a critical reminder for parents: no gift you purchase can create lasting joy for your children. Instead, teach them to savor the present moment, appreciate what they have, and embrace the joy of waiting.
Waiting teaches us to value the process as much as the outcome – and that’s a gift that will last a lifetime.
Ioriginally planned to present this during the second week of December – perfectly timed for the holiday chaos. But then I thought, why not help parents get a head start on this “waiting lesson” thing? Or maybe, just maybe, I couldn’t resist sharing it early because, after all these years, I’m still infected with the highly contagious “can’t-wait-to-share” virus. Some habits die hard, don’t they?
(Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms).
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